日期:2022-12-05 10:00 點擊:
作為高考新題型,讀后續(xù)寫是一種將閱讀與寫作緊密結(jié)合的考查形式,旨在考查學生的綜合語言運用能力。與應用文不同,故事續(xù)寫除了要求學生掌握豐富的詞匯和句式外,還注重學生的內(nèi)容構(gòu)思和情節(jié)銜接的能力。
但讀后續(xù)寫并不像水中撈月,只要掌握 “七三四法則”,即使中下考生也能拿下這一道題。下面我們將以考綱中的樣題為例,給大家講解如何利用“七三四法則”去一一擊破讀后續(xù)寫。
[典型例題](普通高等學校招生全國統(tǒng)一考試英語科考試說明樣題)
閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫, 使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應為150左右。
A funny thinghappened to Arthur when he was on the way to work one day. As he walked along ParkAvenue near the First National Bank, he heard the sound of someone trying tostart a car. He tried again and again but couldn't get the car moving. Arthur turned and lookedinside at the face of a young man who looked worried. Arthur stopped and asked, “It looks like you've got a problem,” Arthur said.
“I'm afraid so. I'm in a big hurry and I can't start my car.”
“Is there something I can do to help?” Arthur asked. The young man looked at the two suitcases inthe back seat and then said, “Thanks. If you're sure it wouldn't be too much trouble, you could help me get these suitcases into a taxi.”
“No trouble at all. I'd be glad to help.”
The young man gotout and took one of the suitcases from the back seat. After placing it on the ground, heturned to get the other one. Justas Arthur picked up the first suitcase and started walking, he heard the long loud noise of an alarm.
It was from the bank. There had been a robbery (搶劫)!
Park Avenue had beenquiet a moment before. Now the airwas filled with the sound of the alarm and the shouts of people running from all directions. Cars stopped and the passengers joined the crowd in front of the bank.People asked each other, “What happened?” But everyone had a different answer.
Arthur, still carrying the suitcase, turned to look at thebank and walked right into the young woman in front
of him.
She looked at thesuitcase and then at him. Arthurwas surprised. “Why is she looking at me like that?” Hethought. “The suitcase!She thinks I'm the bank thief!”
Arthur looked around at the crowd of people. He became frightened, and without another thought, he started to run.
Paragraph1:
As he was running, Arthur heard the young man shouting behind, “Stop, stop!” ___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph2:
The taxi stopped in front of the Police Station and Arthur
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
七三四法則
七個“不”
1. 不增加人物。由考綱樣題及近5年高考真題中所給的段落首句可知, 續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié)發(fā)展都是由原文的人物所推進, 因此, 強行增加人物有可能會偏離情節(jié)發(fā)展。
2. 不增加旁支情節(jié)。題目要求“考生根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫”,旨在延續(xù)原材料的故事情節(jié),并不是要發(fā)展新情節(jié)。
3. 不用過多對話。在續(xù)寫中展示對話, 雖能豐富內(nèi)容和語言, 增強語篇的連貫性, 但使用過多的對話, 會顯得篇幅累贅且很難在限定的詞數(shù)里把整個后續(xù)的情節(jié)發(fā)展補充完整。
4. 不用負能量結(jié)局。結(jié)局設計絕對不能負能量。內(nèi)容應該積極向上, 能增長知識或傳播正能量。如樣題的結(jié)尾, 我們可以有兩種設定: 這個年輕人就是銀行搶劫者, 而Arthur因此成為一個大英雄; 或者 Arthur 誤會了這個年輕人是銀行搶劫犯, 但最終警察們還是表揚了他見義勇為的行為。
5. 不在文末設置懸念。題目要求是 “使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文”, 若在文末設置懸念, 就會給人一種還沒結(jié)束的感覺,這樣的故事是不完整的。
6. 不偏離原文主題。續(xù)寫的情節(jié)應時刻圍繞著短文的主題去推進, 如上面的樣題, 由續(xù)寫第二段首句提到的 “警察局” 可推測, 我們可以圍繞勇氣及正義的主題去進行續(xù)寫。
7. 不違背邏輯常理。情節(jié)和細節(jié)的想象要合理, 符合生活常識及具有邏輯性。
三個原則
1. 原文一致原則
續(xù)寫內(nèi)容要前后銜接,上下連貫,保持時態(tài)一致、人物一致、事件一致及語言表達風格一致。如樣題中通篇短文基本都在用一般過去時,那續(xù)寫也應使用一般過去時。
2. 曲折性原則
凡是故事都應有跌宕起伏或矛盾沖突,其中人物會遇到困難或問題,但最終能解決。但情節(jié)設計不能過于復雜或離奇,否則閱卷老師便不能快速讀懂你想表達的內(nèi)容。
3. 正能量原則
故事內(nèi)容一定要傳遞正能量,圍繞 “真善美” 的大主題去設計情節(jié),弘揚社會主義核心價值觀。如迷路了但最終一定回到了家; 失敗了或遇到困難了, 但最終一定成功了; 吵架了但最后一定是言歸于好, 和睦相處; 犯錯了, 最后一定會改過自新, 重新做人; 賊逃了, 最后一定是繩之以法,等等。
四個步驟
1. 通讀全文,理清脈絡
讀所給的不完整故事,借助“5W1H工具”提煉故事的六要素 (時間、地點、人物、事件的起因、經(jīng)過和結(jié)果),弄清大意和主題,理清故事的主要人物和事件脈絡。當中, 需要特別留意故事里的人物、時態(tài) (通常是一般過去時)、事件(起因和經(jīng)過)、故事的結(jié)構(gòu)特點及語言特色,以便在續(xù)寫時保持上下文一致。牢記一句口訣:人物時態(tài)和事件,語言特色不要變。
(1) 讀大意,抓中心主題
把故事六要素結(jié)合起來,我們即可得知原文大意:Arthur在幫助一位年輕人搬行李箱時,銀行警鐘突然大響。他因抬著行李箱而被懷疑是搶劫犯,過于害怕,他便拿著行李箱逃跑了。
(2)讀人物,找續(xù)寫人物
讀續(xù)寫兩段的首句可知,Arthur和那位年輕人是續(xù)寫內(nèi)容的關(guān)鍵人物,故年輕女士及人群可以排除不要。
(3)讀時態(tài),選續(xù)寫時態(tài)
通讀全文可知,該故事主要是用一般過去時講述的,故續(xù)寫內(nèi)容的時態(tài)也應一致。
(4) 讀結(jié)構(gòu),辨劃分方式
弄清故事的結(jié)構(gòu)特點及表現(xiàn)形式,選擇合適的方式劃分段落,常用的有4:
①以時空變化劃分(指時間和地點);
②以人物思想感情的變化來劃分;
③按記敘內(nèi)容的變化來劃分;
④按描述角度的變化、事情發(fā)展的階段來劃分。
再看回樣題,一開始,Arthur是在Park Avenue,而由續(xù)寫兩段首句可知,續(xù)寫第一段Arthur是在的士里,第二段是在警察局里,Arthur所處地點不斷變化,由此可知, 樣題是按照時空變化來劃分的。而我們在構(gòu)思續(xù)寫內(nèi)容時也應在這兩個地點的基礎上進行拓展。
(5) 讀語言,定風格特色
挖掘文本語言表達風格,模仿原文語言寫句子。使續(xù)寫部分的語言風格與原文的風格相一致,以促進語言協(xié)同。此外,如果原文有較多對話, 續(xù)寫也可出現(xiàn)對話;如原文沒有對話, 盡量少用對話形式。如樣題原文中的語言特色:
①由as引導的時間狀語從句:
As he walked along Park Avenue near the First National Bank, he heard the sound ofsomeone trying to start a car.
Just as Arthur picked up the first suitcase and started walking, he heard the long loud noise of an alarm.
As he was running, Arthur heard the young man shoutingbehind, “Stop, stop!”
② 并列動詞來描述人物的動作:
Arthur turned and looked inside at the face of a young man who looked worried. Arthur stopped and asked…
The young man got outand took one of the suitcases from the back seat.
③介賓短語作狀語:
After placing it on the ground, he turned to get the other one.
④分詞短語作狀語:
Arthur, still carrying the suitcase, turned to look at the bank and walked right into the young woman in front of him.
2. 抓住關(guān)鍵,構(gòu)思框架
仔細閱讀原文,只要抓住三個關(guān)鍵句:續(xù)寫部分的兩段首句和續(xù)寫第一段的最后一句,再結(jié)合正能量結(jié)尾,按照故事發(fā)展的要素(起因、經(jīng)過、轉(zhuǎn)折、高潮、結(jié)局), 便可構(gòu)建大致框架, 合理設計后續(xù)情節(jié)。緊記口訣:
兩段首句定一框,二框二首正能量。
即由續(xù)寫的第一段首句與第二段首句確定第一段的框架;第二段的框架,由第二段首句與正能量結(jié)尾來確定。
現(xiàn)將短文關(guān)鍵信息梳理成以下表格:
由上表可知,短文已包含故事的前三個要素,而續(xù)寫的兩段內(nèi)容則分別對應故事的高潮與結(jié)局。由于高潮部分是推動故事向前發(fā)展的關(guān)鍵,在設計情節(jié)時,要特別注意把人物沖突與矛盾的升級凸顯出來。因此,理清已給短文的沖突及其解決方案,明確故事沖突的升級走向,才能給續(xù)寫文段的內(nèi)容發(fā)展指明方向。
基于以上信息,再根據(jù)口訣“兩段首句定一框”可知,第一段內(nèi)容發(fā)生的地點應該是在的士里,我們設想Arthur懷疑那個年輕人是銀行搶劫犯,于是他打的士去警察局報案。注意:這段結(jié)尾要與下段首句銜接。
再由口訣“二框二首正能量”去構(gòu)建第二段的框架: Arthur到警察局后跟警察說明情況, 并且把行李箱交給他們檢查。最終那個年輕人被抓到。
這里還可以設計第二種結(jié)局:Arthur到警察局后跟警察說明情況,并且把行李箱交給他們檢查。年輕人隨后也到了,經(jīng)過調(diào)查,是誤會一場。
3. 增加細節(jié),展開續(xù)寫
在已定框架范圍內(nèi),依據(jù)情節(jié)發(fā)展和生活常識,推斷故事中人物所見、所聞、所思、所說、所做,選擇性地加入多角度的細節(jié)性描寫,增加故事的可信度、真實度和飽滿度,給每段增加約5至8個具體細節(jié),我們稱之為“58細節(jié)添加法”。
基于第二段的框架,我們可以補充以下細節(jié):
結(jié)局1:Arthur的動作描寫 (沖進警察局,跟警察說明情況, 并且把行李箱交給了他們檢查)→警察動作描寫 (打開行李箱發(fā)現(xiàn)滿箱是鈔票, 向Arthur問罪犯特征)→年輕人被抓到, Arthur被表揚為見義勇為。
結(jié)局2:Arthur的動作描寫(沖進警察局,跟警察說明情況,并且把行李箱交給了他們檢查) →警察動作描寫(打開行李箱發(fā)現(xiàn)是衣服和日用品) →年輕人的動作描寫(年輕人到警察局) →年輕人的語言描寫(年輕人向警察報案Arthur偷行李) →Arthur的人物描寫(感到尷尬,滿臉通紅)→Arthur的動作描寫(向年輕人道歉)→警察的動作描寫(表揚了Arthur的見義勇為)。
4. 檢查優(yōu)化,整潔謄寫
最后,默讀初稿,注意檢查全文的故事情節(jié)是否完整,所續(xù)寫內(nèi)容是否符合邏輯,與所給段首句語義是否銜接,上下文是否連貫,語言風格特色是否與前文一致。在修改潤色之后, 整齊工整地謄寫在答卷上。
【范文】
One possible version:
As he was running, Arthur heard the young man shoutingbehind, “Stop, stop!” All of a sudden, a horrible thought just came into Arthur's mind: the young man might be the bank robber! Having realized the seriousness of the matter, Arthur ran straight to a taxi andjumped in with the suitcase.
He looked back and saw the young man, whose face was filledwith fury, shouted and chased aftertheir taxi. Arthur turned to the driver and said, “Quickly, go to the Police Station! The man chasing behind is the bank robber!” The taxi arrowed toward the Station.
結(jié)局1
The taxi stopped infront of the Police Station and Arthurrushed into it, told the police whathad happened and handed the suitcase in to them. They opened the suitcase and found that there was full of money inside, just as Arthur had expected. Withthe description of the robber from Arthur, the police caught the robber very soon. The police and the bank both thanked Arthur a lot and spoke highly of his bravery.
結(jié)局2
The taxi stopped infront of the Police Station and Arthur rushed into it, told the police what hadhappened and handed the suitcase in to them. As they opened the suitcase and foundthat there was only clothes and daily necessities inside, the young man ran into the station, too.After only one look at Arthur, the youngman pointed at him and yelled, “Thief,he stole my suitcase!” Feeling embarrassed, Arthur blushed. He walked to the young man, explained everything and apologized for the misunderstanding. Though mistaken, Arthur was still spoken highly ofhis bravery by the police.
[名師點撥]
以上續(xù)寫的兩個段落與每段的首句能很好地銜接起來,且段落之間也銜接自然。兩個段落的情節(jié)設計合理,邏輯性強,可讀性強,與所給短文融合度高。第一段中的設計主要是發(fā)生在的士里,年輕人追→Arthur懷疑→決定去警察局。第二段中結(jié)局1的設計是順著大眾的想法,年輕人拿著兩個行李箱,必定是搶劫犯;而結(jié)局2則是發(fā)生反轉(zhuǎn),整件事情是一個誤會,讓人出其不意。
全文遵守原文一致原則,語法結(jié)構(gòu)豐富,如現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語、非謂語動詞、with的復合結(jié)構(gòu)及狀語從句等。同時,細節(jié)描寫生動真實,使用了比喻手法更為文章添彩。
思源教育(原上海交大思源進修學院,簡稱思源教育)成立于1996年,自建校以來,秉承交大校訓,依托名校師資,提供專業(yè)的托班輔導、青少年英語輔導、小學輔導、初中輔導、高中輔導、高考高復、三校生高復、藝考生文化課等,學生遍及全市各區(qū),至今已幫助六萬多余名學子取得優(yōu)異成績,成功考入理想的各級院校!20余年來思源已成為“中考教學研究中心”、“中學個性化學習教育基地”、“快速學習法”實驗學校。
32035781/62581699 徐匯三校生高復校區(qū)
(詳情請點擊) 徐匯區(qū)廣元西路12號(工商銀行隔壁)021-64680311 思源教育徐匯校區(qū)
(詳情請點擊) 徐匯區(qū)南丹東路238號2層62932552/62932882 思源中高考學習中心
(詳情請點擊) 徐匯區(qū)華山路1988號匯銀大廈北樓6樓619室